Photo by Safar Safarov on Unsplash
It feels like just yesterday we all started watching Peter’s journey of finding out The Bachelor mansion is actually an insane asylum love with some of the most dramatic scenes The Bachelor has ever seen.
#champagnegate, Chase Rice, women who cry instead of talk and Peter’s bad decisions have all made for the most interesting season of the Bachelor to date and ya girl has been watching the show for 8 years. That means I witnessed Juan Pablo and THIS is more interesting than THAT.
It’s no secret I almost quit watching this season on multiple occasions. But this season is like watching that reenactment of Peter hitting his head on that golf cart. So gross but I can’t look away.
We’ve been in this thing with Peter since Hannah B’s season and it’s only fair we stick it out with him until the end. Even if that means having a full-on strategy session to decide how to approach the finale. Yeah, after some reflection, I think I’m ready for this sh*tshow to conclude. So, I’m going to share with you some things you’re gonna need going into this finale.
Patience
It’s like every week I was hoping Peter would catch a break but there was always something around the corner ready to disturb the peace. And I’m just not ready for this season to end because I feel like Peter hasn’t even had a chance to get to know any of these women outside of the drama.
You’ll need patience because The Bachelor is doing that thing where they have a 2-night finale. I honestly hate this because I’m like, stop drawing this out and let’s just get to business but ok. I’m just hoping we get the answer to why Barb is crying so much I tonight’s episode.
Predictions
This season has been a sh*tshow, idk how else to describe it. The only thing that makes it fun to watch is having some predictions lined up.
Because going into this 2-night finale special, I am stressed out for Peter. The way the trailers have been teasing his mom crying. It’s like who the heck is she talking about. Also, what is this big wrench that gets thrown into play that Peter is so worked up about? I honestly, have no ideas but I’ve got some predictions:
- Something relating to Hannah B because I mean, isn’t that the dream. Those two are obviously compatible (see windmill promos the Bachelor kept shoving down our throats).
- Barb is crying over Madison because maybe Madi leaves after deciding Peter’s philandering was too much for her to handle. Barb, Pete’s mom, loves Madi from the first one-on-one at her and Pete’s daad’s vow renewal. So, maybe she’s like “Bring her home” with tears streaming down her face talking about a girl Pete brought home for O N E date. Yeah, it doesn’t make sense. Idk you guys.
- Producer Julie because someone planted a story that Pete will end up with his producer instead of any of the women. The producers get super close with the lead and since Peter’s family lives in the L.A. area, the producers got to spend a lot of time with the family so, like, maybe?
Champagne
In honor of the pop heard round the world, I’m trading in my favorite Saviougn Blanc for some Processco in honor of the dumbest, most hilarious drama involving a bottle I’ve ever seen.
Restraint
If you’re like me, everything in you is trying so hard not to read the Reality Steve spoiler that was released a few days ago. Repeat after me:
“I am a strong woman that has been toughing this season out for 9 weeks. I can wait 2 days to find out the ending.”
But honestly, I can’t promise anything after watching tonight because like, that is gonna be T O R T U R E. I’m gonna try my best though. Stay strong, ladies.
Preparedness for Let Down
This has been a frustrating season, to say the least, and The Bachelor producers have been teasing that the season isn’t even over yet. Meaning, that even Peter doesn’t know how the season will end. They have really built this up and I am 100 percent prepared to be let down. It can’t be as good as I imagine in my head where Peter is skipping hand-in-hand with Hannah B on a beach. But I guess we shall see.
A Strong Stomach
It’s not a far fetched idea that this finale may leave us all a little sick to our stomachs. For me personally, if Peter picks Hannah Ann after he had women like Kelley and Natasha who were clearly better options, I would literally lose my mind.
But Peter’s track record includes making bad choices and walking the women that are actually good for him out the door to the waiting limos, without a rose.
*pours one out for Kelley and Natasha
Emotional Support
You’re gonna want to grab your nearest girlfriend and/or fire up that group chat to get through this. There’s nothing like your friends’ opinion on Peter’s season to soothe your spirit after an inevitably disappointing ending. Remember it’s just TV. It isn’t real. I mean except it is real. But not really. Right?
I don’t know the ending but I did get a few predictions about who could have won but I won’t share those here just in case you guys wanna stay spoiler-free. I mean unless you want me to. Let me know in the comments.