Let’s have a moment of silence for our crushed hopes and dreams because Brad Pitt is no longer single.
The 56-year-old was seen arriving at the Le Bourget Airport in France with his new *chokes back tears* girlfriend, Nicole Poturlaski. Millions of women around the world, myself included, just felt their hearts shatter into a million tiny pieces.
So let’s get into Ms. Poturlaski because I’m sure you want to know. First, she’s 27. And let me just say, if I knew Brad was looking for a twenty-something, I would have thrown my hat into the ring ages ago.
So, yes, she’s half his age and almost 30 years younger than him. No judgment though. She’s also German, a model (of course), and let’s be real, STUNNING. As if he needs more reasons to love her, she speaks five languages and is the founder of a foundation that saves sharks. So basically she’s better than all of us. Got it.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CD8z9dhIJub/
Now, I know what you’re thinking:
What is a 27-year-old model, who can have whoever she wants, doing with a 56-year-old divorced father of like 18 kids? If the simple fact that he’s Brad Pitt isn’t a good enough answer, then here’s another: Nicole has a kid herself, and, therefore, gets it. It’s just super annoying because she seems more and more perfect for him with every passing moment.
I will say, in light of everything that’s happening in his divorce from the Ice Queen Angelina Jolie, I’m happy to see Brad happy. The former couple recently made headlines as Jolie requested to disqualify the judge officiating their custody battle, citing the judge’s relationship with one of Pitt’s lawyers as her reason. This upset Brad, who feels she’s gone way too far. As the case becomes more heated, it’s good he has a new woman in his life to keep him cool.
But, is she new?
The internet says otherwise. Back in November, they were spotted together at a Kanye concert at the Hollywood Bowl. By my calculations, they’ve been together for almost nine months. So, why are we all just learning about this? I guess they do have a right to keep their personal lives private… I guess.
I’m still very upset about this news. I actually don’t know if I’ll ever fully get over it. Part of me wishes that he’d have gotten back with Jen. Another part of me wishes he’d waited until we crossed paths and fallen head over heels in love with one another (sorry to my wonderful boyfriend, who probably isn’t even reading this), especially since I now know I’m within his desired age range. Either way, I have no choice but to wish this ageless, newsboy-hat-wearing king nothing but the best on his new endeavor.