RIP to every circa 2006 Disney-watcher’s fantasy. Miley Cyrus and Cody Simpson have parted ways. Chances are 50 percent of you clicked on this story because you’re like me, and you were heartbroken for .5 seconds when you heard the news of this split. But the other 50 percent of you are here because you had no idea this couple was a thing and are rightfully confused. And that’s okay. As much as they were public with their romance, Miley and Cody kind of flew under the radar. They were so public that people kind of stopped caring. The sad part is, the fact that they stayed together longer than a month made me think they might actually have a shot. The middle school version of me is heartbroken but me today is not at all surprised that this relationship didn’t work.
Miley Cyrus is the freest of spirits and is not in a place to be tied down right now. Especially after divorcing her Greek God of a ex-husband, Liam Hemsworth (yum) less than a year ago.
Obviously, I have zero insight into this relationship and I probably know just about as much as you. But you’re here for my opinion and wit so I’ll just say that Nobody’s Perfect (see what I did there) and sometimes relationships end. I truly don’t care who Cody ends up with but I am putting a recommendation in for Miley. I’m thinking Cara Delevigne if she ever breaks up with Kaia Gerber. Because honestly, they may as well have put a nail in the coffin of their relationship cause they just got matching “Soulmate” tattoos. So, if matching couple tattoo history serves itself correctly (Riri and Chris, Koko and Lamar, Ari and Pete), Cara will be free very very soon.
Goodbye Miley and Cody. It was a fun run. It’s time to Start All Over.
Okay, I’m done.