Photo by Amirul Muiz on Unsplash

A tall glass of water walks into a bar.

You’ve been drinking and nothing sounds better than ice, cold H2O that you know will help curve that hangover in the morning.

Kourt and Scott are the water and we’re the drunk girl at the bar rooting for a team we know will never win but we are rooting for them anyway because they have 3 kids and we know they love each other been your favorite team since your childhood.

For some reason, the thought of this couple rekindling feels like it could solve all our problems. Like if Kourtney and Scott can make it, maybe my 2 am solo run for Sonic cheese sticks will look a little less depressing. Or like, maybe ill start back up with dance lessons to become the Misty Copeland I’ve always dreamed of. With these two together, the possibilities are endless.

So, if their love could cure world peace, why aren’t they together you might ask? Why don’t we ask Lebron’s hairline or better yet let’s consult Kylie Jenner’s workout routine?

Oh, wait — those things don’t exist? You see, children don’t understand everything moms and dads go through. But we’ve given them enough time apart. We’ve suffered through Kourt and that French guy. And don’t even mention Scott dating an actual child. Enough is enough. And this isn’t a sit back and wait type of situation. It’s time for all of us to unite, get like Hallie and Annie and Parent Trap the mess out of these two.

So, now that we’ll all on the same page, I’m going to share the plan with you. But this is a covert operation and I’ll need your full discretion if this is going to work.

  1. First we’ll move to Calabasas. Those houses are expensive so we’ll all split the rent.
  2. Next, we’ll adopt a child the same age as Mason, Penelope or Reign and make sure they get involved with the same neighborhood activities as the Discik kids
  3. The kid has gotta be charming cause next, we need to get invited over for a play date at Kourtney’s. She’s the toughest nut to crack so we’ll start with her.
  4. Once we’ve infiltrated, it’s time to get buddy buddy with Ryan Seacrest and make sure the E! Network only plays the episodes when Kourt and Scott were at their best.
  5. We’ll go over for the playdate at Kourtney’s and suggest we watch E! while the kids play.

This is when we make our move.

6. Once Kourtney is reminded of why she fell in love with Scott, we invite Scott over and bam. Mom and dad are back together.

If you’re down, meet in Calabasas in oh two hundred hours. Bible, we’re about to get these two back together.