Photo by Kinga Howard on Unsplash
The problem with The Bachelor isn’t one white man’s inability to read a room. The problem and I type this with all sincerity, is this franchise was built for and caters to white women.
What do I mean?
Well, let’s start with the obvious. The cast of leads and contestants is always a majority white. Especially in earlier seasons. Up until season 12, there was a token black contestant (maybe 2) that was almost always eliminated in the first week. I must note there was one exception in season 1 when the only black contestant was eliminated in week 3 out of a 6-week show at the time. But seasons 13-16 had zero black contestants. Of course, things have picked up from there and we even had a black Bachelorette but the fact that Rachel’s season was one of the lowest-rated seasons tells you all you need to know. White women don’t want to see black women fall in love. They want to see themselves represented on screen. A majority of The Bachelor franchise consumers are white. Is it wrong for them to cater to their audience?
Listen, at least back in the day I knew what I was getting. I knew to expect a token black girl that would get cut week 1. I knew I’d be able to make that joke at parties. “Oop there goes Jasmine. We know she’s going home tonight. Black girls never make it past night one.”
And while that was a sad reality it was better than the alternative which is what we have now. A network and producers that claimed to stand as allies during BLM and promised a groundbreaking season with difficult conversations but instead started the current season off with the most cringe conversation about Matt’s blackness and what the world’s perception of him would be if he chose a white or black girl. This is 2021 and we’re just happy to see this man on screen leading the season and ABC had to go make it weird. We know Matt likes white girls and would most likely choose one but like damn, can we just act normal and not make this season a spectacle for the wrong reasons.
And I’m not trying to negate his experience as a mixed-race man. I understand that that pressure may have been on his shoulders but do I think that conversation helped advance his storyline as the first black bachelor? No. But as a black woman, it’s also a narrative I was very much aware of going into the season. Growing up in a black household in a predominately white neighborhood, bringing home a white man wouldn’t have been the kiss of death but it sure as hell would’ve been a conversation starter. Over the years, I feel like my parents have become a lot more lax with the thought of me and my brother mixing it up. They grew up watching black people being lynched, having to walk in through the back door of restaurants to receive service, integration in schools and being the only black kid in class, and just blatant discrimination for no reason. So, it’s easy for me to sit back on my high horse and judge them for having a certain outlook but all things considered, they’re actually pretty progressive. And I’d say they’ve more than earned that time for growth.
Point is – I’ve had time – years, really, to think about race. Why do black men seem to prefer white women? But that’s a conversation for another day. I’ve had the time to process my feelings towards these things while white women might not have even known there was a problem. So, for me that conversation was elementary. Very surface level. But that’s my opinion as a black viewer. If I’m watching as an uninformed white woman maybe that conversation was something that never crossed her mind and was actually eye-opening. Because look, I know Matt is mixed but I don’t think the majority of Bachelor Nation would have had an issue with him picking a black woman. Years of oppression that has spilled over into our generation has led us, black people, to have a mindset that favors Matt with a black woman. We want to see black love because that represents strength. A strength that has existed for centuries but wasn’t recognized by the masses. This is our time. People are finally seeing us in our truth and gosh damn it wouldn’t it be great if that was reflected on our favorite dating show? It would but it also isn’t fair to put all of our hopes and dreams on one man.
But the sad truth is, The Bachelor will never be what we want it to be. Not unless they completely deconstruct the show and start over. New executives, new crew, new ideas for more inclusive storylines to reflect everyone sitting in their living rooms on Monday nights. That would be a completely different show. One that, to be completely honest, wouldn’t be as good as people are making it seem. Something about two white girls fighting over a white man that really does it for me, I’m sorry.
Change doesn’t come from getting rid of the face of the franchise for having a tone-deaf conversation. In fact, and this is probably an unpopular opinion, but conversations like the ones Chris Harrison had with Rachael are the types of real conversations that need to be had to move us forward.
So, black people, the answer in my humble opinion, isn’t to make these surface-level changes or even trying to dismantle and recreate the show because the truth is, it wasn’t meant for us in the first place. Not every TV show is made for everyone. That doesn’t make it racist, it just means it’s not for you. Maybe support dating shows that already exist and are created by and for us and where black people actually have a shot at love. Here’s a list: