Every single time I scroll through this app, without fail, I find myself staring at another beautiful person with perfectly clear skin, dreamy eyes, and a body to die for. I’m not saying it’s impossible to look like them but what I think we often forget is that the TikTokers we follow as they gyrate and lipsync to early 00’s tunes we as twenty-somethings grew up with and that they think are newly discovered gems, is that these are legit children. 16-year-olds without a clue. Remember what that was like? Cause I don’t. Sometimes when I watch their videos, I just feel old, hard, and callused compared to the nonchalant lives they portray. And listen, I don’t know what type of tea they’re sipping these days, but I can assure you my office gossip sessions with Brenda are not yielding the same results.

After a few days of embarrassing myself re-learning how do the Jerk (cause we all know that was a thing when we were in high school, right?) and lip-syncing to Doja Cat, I realized my engagement was below average. And you might be thinking oh it can’t be that bad. But it is. One of my videos literally has 5 views and 1 like. Am I surprised? Not really. Because in a world that values westernized beauty standards, I realize I barely have a shot.

Photo by Elena Kloppenburg on Unsplash

Now, it does matter what side of TikTok you end up because there are levels to this but overall the standards are pretty clear. If you’re not tall, young and “naturally beautiful”, you might as well forget about posting. Look, I’m 27 and old enough to understand when a new platform is not made for me, but this got me thinking. How are the younger audiences dealing with such a competitive environment mostly based on looks?

Weirdly enough, this app is full of videos aggressively encouraging you to “love yourself no matter what”. Yet, the most viral and successful content, consists of pretty simple videos posted by gorgeous teens serving immaculate looks. On that note, whatever happened to awkward puberty? Like, where are the metal braces and bad jeans? Will these kids never know what it’s look like a cabbage patch doll? Because back in my day… Anyway!

On one side, you have an incredibly demanding community that idolizes beauty above all things. And on the other hand, you find a small group that celebrates self-love but let’s be real, their engagement isn’t anywhere near say a Charli D’Amelio or Addison Rae. Here’s the thing, even though feeling insecure is completely normal. It does suck to feel like an ugly raisin in a bowl of scrumptious grapes. Nobody likes raisins. (And if you do, You are lying!)

So if we cannot reach the desired appearance according to TikTok, what should we do? Do you want my honest opinion? You do YOU. Focus on what feels good for yourself and accept all the feelings, all the emotions and do not beat yourself up for it. Beauty standards are different every decade, in every country, and even change from platform to platform.

So go ahead and satisfy your own idea of beauty. In the wise words of Mama Ru:
“if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” – RuPaul